Archive for the 'General' Category
Friday, September 7th, 2007
The Grassy Tradewire (Pt 2: Free-Agency Adds and Rookie Signings)
Now the Additions:
Key Offense and Defense will be provided by newly signed and one-time member of This Is My Bubba (a former powerhouse of the Hollywood division). Corey is one of Southern California’s best kickball kickers. With a soccer past and a few top-finishing kickball seasons under his belt, this guy can pound the ball and with his speed he is a constant home run threat to opposing teams. Most notably was his solo shot in the Hollywood/Studio Allstar Showdown. On the defensive side Corey brings a cannon-arm and bunt-stopping speed and accuracy to the shortstop position. The only drawback of the signing is Corey’s distance from the kickball field; he will likely have to miss a few games to his lengthy commute.
A similar player and free-agency pickup is the roster addition of CA Studio’s, The Rhino Stampede, Gianni Arone. Gianni is starting pitcher for the Stampede and will come in to perform a similar role for The Grassies. His wicked breaking ball is reminiscent of Hollywood’s John Barry (2-Time Cy Young winner of the division) and is nearly impossible to get a good bunt off of — this will be a key weapon against the bunt-led offenses of our divisional rivals the Little Lebowski Urban Achievers and the Chuck Norris Delta Force.
The final free-agency signing comes in the form of Sam Levassar, a championship-winning former captain of CA Studio’s Wonderballz team. Our scouting reports tell us that Sam is a utility infielder with an exceptional arm. His versatility will be key as he can play the important positions of Shortstop, Pitcher and 1st Base all very well and will be able to fill in any of those spots greatly. Sam is also an able bunter and kicker and can ad a definite spark to our offense. His previous experience and championship title will also add veteran wisdom to a team that has been close many times but never crossed the threshold.
On the rookie side we have some promising new additions in the form of WAKA newcomers, John Nixon, Kevin Linehan, Emily Popper and Chris Perkel. All four come from athletic backgrounds and look to have very promising careers in the field of nostalgia-based sporting.
John Nixon, aside from having a deep understanding of the game of baseball and the principles of manufacturing runs, also plays on The Grassy Best houseband, Spacemuseum. Nixon, provides the band’s backbeat with his exceptional drumming and will likely add that solid foundation and rhythm to the Grassy organization. His quickness and saavy will be key assets.
Kevin Linehan comes to us from our chief talent scout – his wife Kathlene. Kathlene, a former Grassy herself, is one of thequickest women to play the game but her true talent lies in recruiting. Her firm of Kiernan and Linehan Kickball Scouting Associates has been responsible for the acquisition of Grassy alltime runs-leader, Dave”The Cuddler” Lewis and former Dodgeball sensation Rob “Astroclyde” Clyde (a forec to be reckoned with in his one performance last season). Kathleen also provided two breakout finds for The Grassies’ farmteam, The Warner Pros but enough about Kathleen, we’re here to discuss her Husband Kevin. Kevin adds depth at the position of guy-named Kevin to the team since we will be losing two Kevins this season. But more importantly, he is a phenomenal softball talent and was a key standout at Wide Reciever in last year’s Poinsettia Turkey Bowl.
Rookie Emily Popper also has a softball background and comes highly recommended by OG and Bullpen Closer, John “The Commuter” LeBlanc.
Lastly will be Columbia graduate and former roommate to Quinn “The Professor” Saunders (AKA: Clemens, Kurt Gibson, The Bus, Colonel Saunders and Mighty Quinn), Chris Perkel. Perkel is a noted baseball scholar along the lines of fellow rookie John Nixon (but since both are Yankees fans, how scholarly can they be?!?!?) but his athletic prowess comes from his past experiences as a standout member of the Ultimate Frisbee community. Perkel is no stranger to silly games with unnecessarily high levels of competitiveness and thus will be unphased by the sheer douschitude of some of our Hollywood Kickballing opponents. Not to mention quickness and great hands, “The Perkelator” aims to be an exceptionally promising Grassy newcomer.
Lastly, and this is unconfirmed info mind you, there is a chance that OG Grassy and two-time All-Star, Kristle “The Pistle” Baillargeon MAY be coming out of retirement to join her fellow Grassies for another season of Kickball Mayhem. This could be HUGE as Kristle is an offensive force to be reckoned with considering her OBP is in the 90 percent range and her ball-placement is stellar. On defense she has great hands and has a keen sixth sense for covering bases and making plays. Cross your fingers for this one Grassies but don’t count on anything until the ink is dry on that contract extension.
Friday, September 7th, 2007
The Grassy Tradewire (Pt 1: Free-Agency Losses and Retirements)
Lots of off-season roster movement for The Grassy Best.
First the losses:
The hardest felt losses by far are the losses of the dual Kevin-core of Meanwald and Lap’n. Both are OG’s from the way beginning, Meanwald actually being the key driving force in the creation of the team and Lap’n a certified allstar from last season’s squad. Both are undeniably key members of the team and I’m sure they will continue have a presence on the field and DEFINITELY a presence on the bar. Meanwald has even signed on as an Independet Consultant in the fields of Nicknaming and Lineup Wizardry.
Another key loss comes in the form of Craig “Smidty” Smidt (also inked to stay on in a contractor capacity). Smidty was put on waivers earlier last week and his league status is indefinite. A super-veteran of the league and a key motivational force; not to mention one of the quickest fastball pitchers in the league, Smidty will be missed.
The biggest defensive loss though comes with the departure of Eric “Shellman” Shellman (the gold-glove winner of the previous season). We will also sorely miss his iguana from our sidelines.
Matt “HazMatt” Haslett is also moving on to greener pastures. His rocket arm and quick speed will be missed for sure. As will his award-winning facial hair.
On the female side we are losing fielding/motorboating sensation Leah Alejo to free agency. Leah has apparently inked a deal with CA Studio’s, Nuts And Honeys, a strong team that she will add a lot to.
Also after four seasons of near complete grassy anonymity, Jessica “The Grassy Jess” Morrill will not be paying $65 this season to not play kickball. Her sometime presence will be greatly missed along with her occasional jello-shots…mmmmm…
Contract negotiations have been dicey with Meagan “Quma” O’Connell and it is unlikely that she will be back in Irish Green this season though still not confirmed.
Friday, August 17th, 2007
Besties Nominations Released!
Best Grasscot (An Owner’s Award):
Noms: Quinn Saunders for Murphy The Beagle, Leah Alejo for Sienna The Shiba Inu, Eric Shellman for His Iguana, Meghan Edouarde for Baxter The Golden Retriever, Cesar Cervera for his Camelback
Best Themesong:
Noms: Pam Wilson, for “Hot For Teacher”, David Lewis, for “Home”, Gardner Linn for “The Constant Gardner”, Jenny McCormick for “The Office Themesong”, Meghan Edouarde for “The Way We Get By”
Most Likely To Reply All:
Noms: Aaron Gershman, Kate Kugler, Kevin Lappin, Alissa Knoell, Craig Smidt
Most Metrosexual:
Noms: David Lewis, Kevin Greenwald, Cesar Cervera, Meagan O’Connell, David Beckham
Most Photogenic / Best Pre-Determined Picture Face:
Cesar Cervera, David Lewis, Meagan O’Connell, Kate Kugler, Jessica Morrill
Best Grassy Nickname:
John LeBlanc for “The Commuter”, Kevin Greenwald for “Meanwald”, Kate Kugler for “The Cougar”, David Lewis for “The Cuddler”, Steven Feldman for “Steve Holt!”
Team Drunk:
Noms: Cesar Cervera, John LeBlanc, Pam Wilson, Kristle Baillargeon, Quinn Saunders
Best Base Coach:
Noms: Kevin Greenwald, Craig Smidt, John LeBlanc, Meghan Edouarde, David Lewis
The Next Best Thing Award (Showing Up At Wangs But Not Poinsettia):
Noms: Kevin Greenwald, Ashley Fontanetta, Matt Haslett, Jessica Morrill, Steve The Bouncer
Best Grassy Facial Hair:
Noms: Quinn Saunders, Gardner Linn, Craig Smidt, Matt Haslett, Aaron Gershman
Best Slide (In A Grassy Game):
Noms: Meghan Edouarde vs. Can I Kick It, John LeBlanc vs. The Annexation Of Puerto Rico, Kevin Lappin vs. The Ponies Of Death, Meghan Edouarde vs. The Annexation Of Puerto Rico, Alissa Knoell vs. Sofa King Good
Best Grassy Inspired Dish:
Noms: Kate Kugler “Season Opening Cookies”, John LeBlanc “Post-Practice Cheeseburgers”, Jennifer McCormick “Playoff Cupcake Cones”, Jessica Morrill “Green Jello Shots”, Ashley Fontanetta “Olive Bread”
Most Flirtatious:
Noms: Cesar Cervera, Meghan Edouarde, Kate Kugler, David Lewis, Pam Wilson
Most Stylish Uniform:
Noms: Leah Alejo, Cesar Cervera, Aaron Gershman, David Lewis, Pam Wilson
Best Individual Performance in a Kickball Game:
Noms: Kevin Lappin, Against Sofa King Good 7/9/07, Eric Shellman against Can I Kick It? 7/2/07, John LeBlanc against The Annexation Of Puerto Rico 6/4/07, Cesar Cervera against Kiss My Grass 5/14/07, David Lewis against Tack Whacket 7/23/07
Technical Awards
Most Homeruns
Most Runs Kicked In
Best Kicking Average
Most Strikeouts/Foulouts Pitched
Most Runs Scored
Most Put-Outs
Achievment Awards
Rookie Of The Year
Best Grassy Spirit
The Unsung Hero Award
The Jessica Morrill Award For Excellence Depsite Poor Attendance
Gold Glove
Team Morale Booster
Tuesday, July 31st, 2007
Grassies Represent In Hollywood Allstar Game
FLF, The Cuddler and Le Rabbit all played in Monday night’s Allstar game which saw a big 3-1 win from The Holly Conference over The Wood Conference. Megs was named Captain’s Choice MVP after kicking in the winning run and making a handful of amazing grabs in the field (the last to rob the opposing pitcher of a near homerun!).
Big congrats to our allstars and The few Grassies that attended the game (and more importantly the bar!). Wang’s afterwards was hilarious and a fitting end to a great season of Grassy Kickball.
Thursday, July 19th, 2007
Urban Legend: The Grassy Best – Name Origin
Utterly false, but worth the reprint for creativity (courtesy: WAKA Hollywood Division “Kick in Review” 7/16/2007):
THE GRASSY BESTA long time ago there was an old wise man named Bubba Von Blusterbowel. He was the wisest man in all of Poinsettia. Often the townsfolk from the nearby hamlet of Western Holly Woodewould ask old Bubba for solutions to their problems and for insight on life’s great mysteries. One particular day, a young man by the name of Goldfarb Himmelschmittwent to see the wisemanwith a question about his missing goat. Goldfarb was convinced that the goat was stolen by his nemesis and archrival, SuccatashPaialii…owitzand he went to see the wisemanfor guidance.
“Great Bubba of Willoughby, my goat has been stolen by an evil forest-green-shirted rogue. How shall I retrieve this goat and how shall I exact my vengeance?”
The wisemanreplied, “It wasn’t him who done stoledit. It was Ye Olde Maxwelleof Lucaston.”
“But how do you know old wiseman?” asked Goldfarb.
“The fields of Poinsettia Circus told me,” he replied.
Puzzled, Goldfarb squinted at the old man and asked, “how would the fields of this parkknow such a thing?
“Because they have seen it Goldfarb; they see all.”
“But, with all do respect your wise-ness, are you positive that the grass fields have seen correctly?”
“I am, young Goldfarb”
“But WHY?!?!?!”
Replied the wiseman, “Because, my foolish one, the grass see BEST…”
Goldfarb left for Lucastonthat night muttering these words to himself “The Grass See Best” and when he was slain by a surprise attack from a
sniper’s arrow his garbled words were heard by the young beer wench of the local tavern of YeBiggeWange’s. A patron of the tavern asked the
wench, “What did ‘e say?” and the wench, Jennifer of Cormick, responded,
“I think he just said ‘ The Grassy Best'”.
And then, as they often are, a legend was born…
Our purple shirts remind us of the big purple guy from McDonald’s- Grimace.
FotherMuckers- If you don’t get this Team name you are LAME!
Yes
See The Grassy MySpace for the real story.
Thursday, July 12th, 2007
The First Post
Awesome.
When I say Grassy, you say best.
GRASSY!